You couldn’t make this shit up . volume 236 Cardiff Tri

Triathlon Training Blog, Friday, June 28th, 2019



So off to Cardiff tri on the build up to roth. Its been a heavy build up so far and fatigue is just something we all become accustom to. The welsh hundred last week was a corker in poor conditions i slogged my guts out in wind and rain  for 3 hrs 53 mins and 10 sec . 3 seconds slower than last September . This amused Shane no end. As he and Ross did pbs by minutes. Gary Flower had a corker too going under 4 by some margin on a difficult day. I had a chat to him after but i was more or less off my face on caffeine and beetroot juice that at one point i wasnt even sure if i was speaking english!

Its an early start so head up on the Saturday night . Planning to Camp /park outside where Callum is staying. Am remarkably organised get there for about 830. Meet Callum go for a cheeky pint with Heather,. Forgotten my race belt so ask her if i can borrow one of hers and two plastic bags.

She doesn’t ask what the bags are for.


Awake at 430 shit in one of the bags. Now its still dark and i hadn’t quite thought this one through. Not all the shit went in the bag . I blame heather for this . She brought small pedal bin liner type things. In my experience a full size carrier bag is the only  weapon of choice.


Now the funny thing about shit is that only a tinny winny bit didn’t make it into the bag, like i don’t know, less than a table spoon full. It was fucking everywhere. Shit on my hand, shit on the cup,on the track pump ,steering wheel inside the car parked next door.


I am quite literally too old for this shit. Still i did have some of that alcohol hand wash and put it to good use. Unfortunately i needed about a gallon of it.

Just as i finish dealing with that  up rocks Callum. Wearing that inane grin he always seems to have on his chops. This was soon wiped off when he locked the keys to his girlfriends car in the car. Which was where his bike was.

We had a brief team discussion . Less than 5 seconds later and in true team spirit i played a captains innings and rode off towards registration wishing him the best of luck.  Think i might have been laughing.


Signed in. only one race number so cant use the speed pocket in my tri suit.  If there had been 2 race numbers i still couldn’t have used the built in speed pocket in my tri suit.


Because i hadn’t bought it. I’d picked up my long sleeve £300 tt suit by mistake, same colour . Now those of you familiar with custom tt suits will know they aren’t designed to be stood upright in . Taking that little snippet of information i think we can safely assume they aren’t meant to be swam in either.

Classic dilemma. You’ve paid the entry fee, driven up here do you risk ruining a £300 skin suit for a b race?


Give it a go like aint it?? So racked and ready . Q wonder boy stage left. He’d borrowed a BMX from his boyfriend and we hastily gave him a bike fit. Callum was in ! Stroll down to the swim start for 630 kick off.


Didnt happen. Some poor soul decided today was the day he was going to off him self and as if by chance he’d decided to do it on the bike course, off a building.  The police were talking him down . Where’s riggs and merta when you need them?


Bike course cut short from 25 miles to 18 and from 3 laps to 6 . Nice. This pleased me no end.

Waiting around for a delayed start meet heathers utri lot. So this is where all the beautiful people are. I fitted right in . Good group. good club. All up for backing each other . Was nice to see.


Anyway the swim finally got under way. As usual up to the first buoy i thought i was going to be drowned. I cant remember the last swim where i was the one doing the drowning , just the one being drowned. Had an ok swim then onto the bike.

Legs were on today and i was giving the beans all the way. Asking for the power and it was there!One of those days when you are just grinning to yourself all the way around.  It was a real shame the bike was cut short and after lap 4 it was very conjested. Each lap being only 3 miles it was more like a crit. Perhaps could only stay on the tri bars for 3 mins at a time before having to pop up off them to take a corner or a speed bump . But the organisers  did a good job of having a race at all considering

Was second out of t2 and had the best bike split of the day. Paid for a little bit on the run and slipped to 7th or maybe 8th but won the vets. It does take me a long while to get into my running after a hard bike and by the time i felt i was moving 6 km had gone. The biggest side effect as it turned out of running in a tt suit was the heat. I was cooking in there.


Cal did the best he could on his Raleigh strika but shit himself on the run. He’s been besting me the last few months on the bike so it would’ve been interesting to see how he’d have gone on his bike and keeping his bowels under control . Maybe put him i n  a nappy next time or some tenor lady boy pads.

Still the guy who won it won it quite literally by a country mile. Would have been a closer race for the lesser places if the bike had been the full distance


It was all pretty cool at the finish ,nice atmosphere and still a good race. Waiting for all the utri lot to come in . Cal finished and rather embarrassingly had smudged his lipstick and his mascara had run a bit. His handbag must still be in the dock somewhere. Had a nice chat with Ed clements from the aces whose run was too much for me today. When he went passed there was no point in responding he was gone. Was overall a good event and a great day out.

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"Excellent stay & great location, Freshwater West beach is amazing, would recommend...”
Jo, Scotland

"Great place and great views. Big thank you for a great week, can't wait to go again"
Scott, Cardiff