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Triathlon Training Blog, Monday, May 1st, 2017

Another big week. bigger than last week. bigger than bi ….biggest. Everything sky high . fitness , fatigue ,stress.


Monday wrote Mr kipling

A much needed rest day. i spent the whole day annoying and being annoyed by Brazier. This seems to work pretty well. Work and Brazier ,however, are not usually 2 words you would use in the same sentence. I’ve resigned myself to this fact. You are no longer allowed to wip people i read somewhere . Cant beat him . So it is what it is.

After spending most of the day watching lee achieve nothing while rather skilfully looking flat out all day i retired to the lounge to smoke some tobacco and contemplate my thoughts


Going big this week, bigger than big did i mention big? i meant massive.Colassal,gargantuan,Mammouth ,titanic effort

Still ,you get the picture

Nothing in my life experience so far prepared John ,Andy and myself for the sight that was bestowed upon us by Mr Ross Mcnally this morning at the pool. He strode poolside like  a conquistador in his new jammers. He didnt own the pool he was the pool .In fact he was the building . A veritable assault on the ocular senses .Almost an auditory assault. Andy couldnt handle it at all and had some sort of episode. John the straight talking northerner who is never lost for words was lost for words.He tried but a barely discernible  squeak was all that was heard. Thousand Yard stares all round and a few WTFs.We looked on.Now there’s confidence.

I can only assume the offending shorts  were a gift from his mum or he’s colour blind. Still he worked poolside pretty well . Used it like a catwalk . He seemed pretty pleased with himself .They didnt slow him down though.

He showed me a clean pair of heels in the pool today . 400 wu . 15 times 100m on 2 mins then a 300 . out. 2200 metres . Thank god i had polarised lenses.

i cant remember whether brazier was on site today . I have the same memory whether he is there or not. Impact.

90 mins on the turbo this evening. 5 sets of 12 mins. 2mins at 95 per cent ftp(270 watts) 2 mins at 105 per cent times 3 for each set.(290 watts) Hit the numbers and wondered what went so badly wrong at the race on sunday.

5 k run off the bike flat out 21 mins over undulating terrain.


In the gym first off and had a good session 45 mins. Squats was up . Contrary to popular belief i can squat my body weight. all 60 kgs of it. i dont just use an unloaded  bar as Fabulous once asked me. Ha.

I thought about marshalling the velos 10 this evening as it goes passed my house but they seemed to have enough people covering it. So i went for a little run. I had done about 8 miles when low and behold Mr Ross Mcnally ‘turned’ up at St Petrox. I have my suspicions he was waiting there like the truman show for me to happen along. I also have my suspicions that under his black cycling kit he had …..the shorts…..on. Good value Ross and a very strong Athlete. Still kept it …brief.Ahem Ended up running 20 miles like you do at around 3 hr 45 mins marathon pace. Felt surprisingly ok at the end. My rationale is this. You only have to do so many long runs. So when you get to 15 miles you may as well carry on otherwise you are going to have come back run that 15 again plus a few more. Does that make any sense at all? I ended up on the course of the velos 10 as they came through. Everyone looked fucked except Grant Arnimal Arnold and the lady who passed me last who i didnt recognise. Grant was hoofing it when i saw him and he won it hands down.

You could argue from a lucid ,rationale point of view that this plantar fasciitis cant be that bad if you can run 20 miles on it. But it just wont go away. I know its not being rested and i spend all day on my feet. Brazier has never had it. Probably as he spends all day sat on his arse i would imagine.


Into the black heart of the week. If you can get Thursdays sessions done and hit your numbers the week is made. Pool in the morning and had a surprisingly good swim. I always swim in the second or third fastest lane. Or the 3rd or 4th slowest depending on whether you are a glass half full or glass half empty kinda guy. For 2 reasons. 1 its full of women. 2 i can keep an eye…a beady eye on Rothery and see how he is doing. He is a faster swimmer than me but sometimes i can hold him….this wasnt one of those times. Finished the main set . which was 10 times 100 on 2 mins and 20 times 50m on one minute. Carried on after the hour was up to get the 3000m in.

Turbo . 1 hour 45 mins at 85 to 90 per cent f ftp . This is a long slog and is just the wrong side of comfortable to be anywhere near enjoyable. Still hit the numbers all the way through.hanging at the end. Put trainers on and the same 5k run off the bike. This went well or so i thought and came in at just under 21 mins . faster than tuesday. then strava told me, Chris Dixon ,Brazier and myself ran it 2 mins faster a year ago. Still i’m on a bigger than big week. As im sure you know. It was only yesterday i ran 20 miles..and Ross ‘the shorts’ Mcnally was there.


Friday morning is always a tricky one. There’s one of 3 options. My personal favourite is 1) do fuck all dont get out of bed at 530. 2) Gym 3) Pool

I feel guilty about not doing the pool but with this radical change in bike position feel i need the second session in the gym to get my glutes up to task . So a Gym session it is.This went ok too.On my ..bigger than big week.

Friday evening . A run . i was fucked and got a steady wobbly 7.5 miles in. I had eaten nothing but crap all day .and have been on ibruprofen all week. Stomach doing cartwheels and i was knackered.


Facebook post

‘Swim in the sea! Are you insane??!!!I only realised ld lost my sense of smell when it came back 2 hours later. Still waiting for the feeling in my feet and hands to come back. Fuck that. C u in June.’


In i went Saturday afternoon. Fresh east low tide (not the best time)onshore. choppy .alone. no buoy. What could possible go wrong? I lost all sensation everywhere quite quickly this was closely followed by my track of time. I couldve been in there minutes or hours .It was still light when i crawled out. I had gone from one end of the beach and back i think. I reasoned this as i was back where i started . The gap in between i have very little recollection of. Half hour i would say. I got back to the van .engine on heating on .Still hyperventilating. I now know what Botox feels like. my face just couldnt move. frozen solid. lips a rather striking shade of black,purple and blue hues. Skin the same colour as this page. I tried to beg someone to help me. i think they thought i was doing the mannequin challenge. I’m not that retarded.Well not in that respect anyway. i was half way to saundersfoot when my sense of smell came back. I realised this as for the first time ever i had one of those car airfresheners hanging from the windscreen and it hit me and i thought oh my sense of smell had gone. Another few weeks for me i think. Or another continent.


Not to be outdone a one hour turbo in the evening zone 2 flirting with zone 3 a bit but not much…at all .Spent the rest of the evening changing tubs on the race wheels. Rain is forecast for tomorrow.



The Welsh 25mtt champs on the bank. Pissing rain and wind predicted. Late start so almost a lie in . Went to Stevos and drove up to the tune of the same chat . Yeah fucked again this week ,not worried about the result or time, Poland is the bigger picture. Load of Shit. Felt good on the drive up. Got there felt like falling asleep.Steve was off 50 mins before me. So he got ready and i sat there doing nothing at all. Almost nodding off not helping him. Chris , Tom and Jon turned up .Tom had a cracking ride at a 10 the day before ,doing a short 21. Onwards and upwards for the Team Bottril boys. Quote of the day is definitely Toms . We were talking about being tired and doing what you can do and he said ‘ you’ve only got your cock to piss with’ which made me chuckle. Off i went again. get ready 5,4,3,2,1 Go or go in my case. Once again i knew the top end wasnt there. The only thing surprising about this is,once again, i was surprised.  Phil Tucker caught me for a minute at 11 miles. He has always been better than me on the bike but not by much. He stormed on to a PB . Fair one. When my 2 minute man caught me i was close to jacking. Fuck this. Power was nowhere. 230/240 watts. Not the 290 i have held here before. Serious doubts creeping in now about these shorter cranks and such a massive change in position. I doubted the power meter readings. looking down 220 at one time 180 watts WTF?? I cracked on . 54mins and seven seconds.Dejected. in the first instance i dont take a bad ride that well at all and am a bit of a dick. Ok ,a bit more of a dick than usual. However it doesnt take that long for me to regain my composure. 3 to 4 weeks on average. NB had a good ride skinned me by 25 seconds Jon regan by 30 seconds, Chris 90 secs. I was rather randomly offered a lift up the hill after the finish. How bad did i look ? I didnt need to be asked twice . positives from this mornings ride. 1) Missed the rain. 2) If the power meter is accurate my position must be good to still do a 54 when producing so little wattage. Im passed the point of no return now and will have to trust my bike fit that the power will go back up once the position clicks. Fatigue is also probably a bigger factor.

Not to be too happy with being quite fucked i wanted to be completely fucked by the end of the training week. So when i got home i jumped on the turbo. I put two power meters on and cross referenced them against each other. One was the race one the other my power tap back training wheel. For most of the time the chainrings were reading slightly higher than the back wheel. Which is to be expected due to the loss of power through the drive train. Sometimes ,particularly after an out of the saddle effort the back wheel would read higher.  Over the 3 and a half hour turbo (75 zwift miles) there was 5 watts difference. So there’s not too much wrong with the powermeter situation. This was an endurance session at the top end of z2(200 watts) spent more than i should in z3 (upto 230 watts) So what was going on this morning i dont know. Got 100 miles in all told. kinda. 30 odd real miles at the tt this morning with the warm up and 75 turbo ‘zwift ‘ miles in the evening. was all done by 9 o clock . Too tired to sleep and tried  to watch ‘catch me if you can’ which i have tried to watch many times but have never seen the ending. That situation remains the same.

Thats what a 1300 tss (training suffer score) looks like .


There was a lot of extra stress this week with ….lets call it lawnmowerman gate. Fucking lawn mower. I paid 400 quid for a top of the range mower last year and well.basically , a bit like myself atm its just not up to it. It died a miserable death trying to cut my field as i kicked ,screamed,reprimanded it in the strongest possible terms. I tried to throw it but the damn thing must weigh 50 kgs and i nearly put my back out attempting it none the less. It puked up the last remaining dredges of its oil out through the carburetor whimpered,coughed and died. Mother farmer.Be better off using a hairdressers scissors. I brought a goat before the lawn mower last year. hoping the goat would solve the ‘grass needs constant cutting ‘ problem After i brought the goat i then read the one thing goats dont eat is grass. Yeah i know, that came as a surprise to me too.Clearly. Poorly thought out ,poorly executed. The goat seems happy enough though. Not eating my grass.

which is a metaphor for my life and everyone else really.

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